Alf says that writing about the abuse he suffered has helped him come to terms with it
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Alf was orphaned when he was a young child and placed in care.
He was sexually and physically abused by two carers, and years later was shocked to discover that social services had ignored clear signs that something was wrong.
Alf sent a written account of his experiences. He grew up in the 1960s, and both his parents died by the time he was six years old. He was in care until he was 16 and says ‘During that time I suffered appalling abuse from one set of foster parents’.
His foster mother was violent and he believes she hated males. She often kept him away from school. His foster father sexually abused him for most of the time that he had to stay in their home.
Alf joined the armed forces in his mid teens, and was surprised to find that many of the new recruits had also been in care. He writes, ‘although no one spoke too much about it, it was evident most of us had been abused in some way’.
The officer in charge of training gave them a ‘pep talk’ advising them to ‘get over it and move on … this is your chance to start over and make a new life so do it’.
Although Alf feels that was good advice, he adds that ‘it's hard to simply "move on" and it took me a few years to adjust and over 30 years to acknowledge the sexual abuse’.
In recent years, Alf obtained a copy of his personal file and was shocked to see that the social workers had concerns about him but took no action. He discovered that his school had reported his poor attendance but social services believed his foster mother’s claims that he was ill.
He says ‘I just wanted to get my story out … to illustrate how violence and sexual abuse can affect a child and what to look out for if a child is being abused.’