Martine says she has ‘a sense of shame’ about the abuse she endured throughout her young life
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Martine’s mother had several children when she was very young, and was unable to look after them.
Martine and her siblings spent their early childhood in different care placements. She was subjected to sexual abuse by several different residents and members of staff.
Martine remembers that on one occasion, the children were returned home to live with their mother, but she had started living with another man who was physically abusive, so the children were placed into a foster home again.
Throughout her time in foster care she suffered physical abuse and says that she was beaten regularly for minor wrongdoings.
In one care home, she was sexually abused by another girl who was several years older.
In another placement, the son of her carer molested Martine when she was 11. He also physically abused her, but his parents said it was Martine’s fault for ‘taunting him’.
In her next placement, Martine says, the ‘real’ abuse happened. The day after she arrived, the matron’s husband, Mr Green, introduced himself and placed his hand on her leg, saying they were a ‘big happy family’ in the home. He then proceeded to penetrate her with his fingers.
Martine was placed in a dormitory, and Mr Green used to come in at night and sexually abuse the children. He once tried to rape Martine but he heard his wife coming and stopped. He did rape her subsequently, and molested her regularly. She remembers one day hearing Mr Green’s wife saying to him ‘you’ve been touching those bloody girls again’.
One evening, two police officers arrived at the home. One of the other residents had told her social worker about the sexual abuse by Mr Green. The social worker asked Martine if anything similar had happened to her and she told them everything that he had done.
However, no action was taken because they were labelled ‘malicious girls’ who had made up the allegations to get out of the home.
Martine was moved to another children’s home, where she was beaten up by two boys after they had tried to molest her. In her next placement she was fostered with a married couple. The husband and a male friend of his sexually abused her two or three times a month for about two years.
Martine says the abuse has impacted on her in several ways. She describes herself as being ‘needy’ in her relationship with her husband and is very possessive about her children. She says her husband is extremely supportive but she feels she can regress back to being ‘that vulnerable child’ again.
She said that we should believe children when they speak of abuse; reflecting on her own experience she says ‘It would have helped if they would have believed us’.