Annabella says people should question why ‘difficult children’ may be acting that way
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Annabella describes herself as ‘a horrible person’ at school and says she was labelled a ‘problem child’.
But the reason for her difficult behaviour was that she suffered sexual abuse by a series of people, some of them relatives.
Annabella’s earliest recollection of sexual abuse goes back to when she was about five years old. One of her uncles used to take her and her brothers swimming, and for a few years he sexually abused all of them, at the pool and sometimes at their home.
On one occasion, Annabella’s mother caught the uncle touching her daughter and banned him from visiting their house. However, he found opportunities to continue abusing her; this included rape which caused her to bleed. Her uncle told her it must be her period.
She was also subjected to sexual abuse by another uncle, the father of one of her school friends, and one of her brothers.
Annabella describes how her difficult life affected her behaviour at school. When she was 11 she was self-harming. She was withdrawn and was known as a ‘problem child’. She didn’t want to learn and once ran away. By the time she was in her early teens, she was promiscuous. No one asked her what was wrong, and she didn’t tell anyone about the abuse.
She continued to suffer from mental health problems throughout her life. She once cut her arm and was bleeding so badly she had to go to hospital to have the wound stitched. She also attempted suicide, but after being treated in hospital she was not given any psychological support.
Her family relationships have broken down and she has been unable to work for several years. As an adult she was in many abusive relationships until she met her husband.
Annabella feels that school staff should look beyond the behaviour of a child and question what may be behind it. She thinks it is very important that information is shared if a child moves to a new school, so that patterns of behaviour can be identified.
She sees sharing her experience with the Truth Project as a chance to get her story out. She says she has thought about telling the police for years and now is determined to do it.
She says ‘I don’t want anyone else to live their whole bloody life like I live it’.