Annalisa reported that the man who had sexually abused her was working with children, but no action was taken
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Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Annalisa feels let down by the way the police handled her report of sexual abuse by a family member.
She understands the challenges involved in proving allegations, but believes they could have done more.
Annalisa’s parents got divorced when she was a young child, and her mother remarried a man who held a senior rank in the armed forces.
When she was 12 years old, Annalisa’s stepfather began sexually abusing her.
She developed an eating disorder and other behavioural issues during this time and was referred to children’s mental health services. No one asked her what was going on in her life. Sometimes her stepfather attended appointments with her.
When Annalisa was in her early teens, she took an overdose. She told her GP but says ‘He didn’t ask why, he just lectured me about why I shouldn’t have done it’.
Soon after, she told a teacher that her stepfather was sexually abusing her. She says the school responded well and contacted social services and the police. She was allocated a school counsellor, who she says was great.
Annalisa’s mother didn’t believe her about the abuse at the time. Although her stepfather moved out, Annalisa’s mother carried on having a relationship with him.
The police asked Annalisa to give a statement. Her mother did not support her with this, but after a delay of a few months she gave one. She was in her mid-teens by this time. She says the police interview was handled really well and she had support from a counsellor.
The police arrested the stepfather and questioned him, but later told Annalisa that it was her word against his. He was not charged. She says she can understand that it may have been difficult for them to prove anything, but she was not told the case had been dropped.
Annalisa feels very let down by the police. ‘It’s the whole after thing of not telling me when my case was closed … not looking at the safety of him and my mum still being in a relationship … not signposting me to any support.’
Subsequently, Annalisa’s mother realised her second husband had sexually abused Annalisa. She ended the relationship but did not go to the police.
A few years later, Annalisa discovered that her stepfather was working with children. She went to the police in a distressed state but did not feel she was taken seriously. They did not offer her a private room to speak in, and told her ‘If he’s not threatening you there is nothing we can do’.
When she was in her early 20s, Annalisa was raped by a stranger. She did not tell the police because she had no faith in them by this time. ‘I thought, what’s the point? They never do anything.’
The abuse by her stepfather has had a significant impact on Annalisa. Along with an eating disorder, she has suffered with other mental health conditions and depression. She has self-harmed and attempted suicide. She suffers with night terrors and finds it difficult to trust anyone or to be intimate in relationships.
Annalisa has a number of ideas that she believes might have made a difference in her case.
She says children should be proactively asked about potential experiences of abuse if their behaviour changes or they are showing signs of mental health disorders.
She believes that school staff should have more training to pick up the signs of sexual violence and would like to see more specialist support services for people who have been abused.
Annalisa feels strongly that the police should keep people informed about the progress of cases, and that victims and survivors who disclose abuse should be given clear information about what will happen afterwards.
She has a career in mental health services that she finds rewarding, and is in a relationship with a supportive partner.