The police did not believe Annalise’s stepfather was abusing her, and he continued to rape her
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Annalise’s parents separated when she was a baby. When she was nine years old, her mother married again.
Within a few weeks of the marriage, her stepfather, Finn, began to sexually abuse her.
It started with him coming into her bedroom and talking to her while digitally penetrating her.
At first she was completely confused by what he was doing. As the years went by, he continued sexually abusing her and when she was in her mid teens, he raped her. She later had a miscarriage.
Annalise wanted to protect her sibling and she thought that if she told anyone what was happening, she might put them at risk. She says she ‘went on auto pilot … looking back now I don’t know how I got through that’.
Annalise used to stay awake at night until Finn went to work in the early hours. Only then was she able to sleep for a few hours until she had to get up for school. She used to fall asleep at school but nobody ever questioned this. She says she often thought ‘I wish somebody would just ask the question’, but they never did.
A couple of years later, Annalise went to the police and told them she was being abused. But her mother told the police her daughter was lying and the police accepted this. Annalise says ‘I got the impression from the start they weren’t on my side’. She adds ‘My mum blackmailed me to retract my statement, which I did, and he just carried on’.
Finn continued to rape her several times a month. When she went to university and left home completely, Finn begged her not to go.
Annalise describes herself as ‘very isolated’ when she was growing up. She says she drank a lot of alcohol to ‘blot out what was happening’ and she became promiscuous at university.
She has self-harmed and had mental health problems. After she left home she jumped off a height and severely injured herself.
Annalise believes her mother knew ‘something was wrong’ at home. Annalise has tried to talk to her about what happened but says she gets defensive.
In recent years, Annalise heard that Finn had sexually abused another relative, and she went back to the police. She says this time they listened and believed her. There was an investigation and two other women he had abused came forward.
When the case came to trial a few years later, it was a difficult time for Annalise as she had no mental health support. She says ‘I often think I wish he would have just murdered me as it would have been a lot easier and less painful’. Eventually Finn was convicted and given a lengthy prison sentence.
Annalise has begun to receive support that she believes will help her.