Ashleigh’s experiences with the police made her feel there was ‘no point’ reporting sexual abuse
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Ashleigh was raped when she was nine years old.
She didn’t understand what had happened to her, and she was just as confused by the police investigation that followed
Ashleigh was playing out with a friend when she was attacked. She says she had no idea what rape was – ‘I thought I’d been stabbed’. Later, her parents realised something serious had happened and called the police.
She remembers two men in uniforms asking her questions and correcting the words she used to describe the attack. They decided they were dealing with a case of indecent exposure.
Later in her life, Ashleigh was diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder, which would have made it even more difficult for someone so young to have understood and communicated about the rape. She has no memory of the police spending time trying to find out exactly what had happened, and she does not think they made suitable allowances for her age.
The rapist was arrested for indecent exposure and Ashleigh and her friend were asked to attend an identity parade. One of the policemen in charge of the process put his hand on Ashleigh’s bottom.
She says she has no idea whether he meant to do this, or whether it was just a clumsy attempt to direct her along the line-up, but she remembers feeling alarmed and unsettled by it and she pointed to the nearest man so she could leave quickly.
Ashleigh’s friend selected a different man from the line-up, and the perpetrator was not charged. However, some years later, he was sent to prison for another sexual assault.
By her early teens, Ashleigh was diagnosed with an eating disorder and had begun to self-harm. She was admitted to a children’s hospital for several months and during this time she started seeing a boy who was a few years older than her.
She says this boy was ‘very physical’ which made her uncomfortable, and she spoke about this to staff at the hospital. She says her parents were concerned about the relationship but the staff did not seem to be. She ended the relationship, then began to see him again, and shortly after, he raped her.
After Ashleigh left hospital she joined a local choir because she loved singing. She began to confide in the man who ran the choir, who was in his 30s. She told him about the previous sexual assaults she had suffered, and before long, he started sexually abusing her. This escalated into him coercing her to perform sexual acts on other men. She was in her mid teens.
She now realises that confiding in him about what had happened to her previously made her seem very vulnerable and naïve. The abuse ended when she was readmitted into hospital.
When she was in her early 20s, Ashleigh went to the police to report the rape that happened when she was nine. The attacker denied the rape and no further action was taken. Ashleigh says this left her feeling there was no point trying to bring any attacker to justice, and she has never reported the sexual abuse by the man in the choir.
She has since discovered from her medical records that she told health professionals she had been raped when she was nine, but she does not remember doing this. She is astonished that no one seems to have acted on the information.
Ashleigh feels let down by this; she believes that the lack of support left her vulnerable to further abuse. She feels it is very important to make sure children can report concerns in a way that is appropriate for their age.