Brooklyn’s parents fought over her after they separated, but neither of them provided her with a safe home
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Brooklyn was sexually abused by her father and stepfather.
She feels her experiences have robbed her of the ability to have a healthy relationship.
Brooklyn was very young when her father began sexually abusing her. She remembers ‘interference … groping … the smell’.
When she was five years old, her mother went into hospital to give birth. While she was away, Brooklyn remembers her father bathing her and doing ‘horrible things’. She says ‘I was terrified of him. I hid myself away’.
Brooklyn’s parents separated when Brooklyn was about 10, and her mother remarried. Brooklyn describes acrimonious custody battles, and she and her sibling were moved around between her mother, her father and their grandparents.
She didn’t like her stepfather, who was very controlling, and even though it was difficult living with her father, Brooklyn says it seemed like the best place to be. But he started sexually abusing her again. She had to care for her sibling and she often went to school unwashed and in dirty clothes.
Social workers were involved with the family. Brooklyn can remember a visit on one occasion and not being able to understand why the social worker did not seem concerned or take any action.
After about a year, Brooklyn’s mother encouraged Brooklyn to move in with her and her stepfather. For a while, her life improved, but then her stepfather started touching Brooklyn inappropriately. He began taking her into bed with him and Brooklyn’s mother, and asking for ‘cuddles’.
On one occasion, Brooklyn’s mother left her in the bed alone with her stepfather and he sexually abused her. This happened many more times in her bedroom. The abuse continued until she was about 14 or 15.
During this time, Brooklyn says she must have ‘stood out’ at school. She was unkempt and never clean and tidy. She developed an eating disorder and stopped taking part in sports and other activities she had previously enjoyed. She often cried.
When Brooklyn was in her late teens, she left home and went to live in a bedsit. She says that as an adult, her life was complicated. ‘I never told anyone my story … I airbrushed it out’ she says.
She married a man who was controlling and cold. The marriage ended and after that she had many more unsuccessful relationships. She drank heavily.
Brooklyn has tried to talk to her mother and sibling about the abuse, but they will not accept it. ‘I feel I have blown the family apart’ she says.
She tried to speak to her father about it, but he claimed he could not remember.
Brooklyn has been single for a long time, and feels she can't have another relationship.
She would like teachers and social workers to be alert to possible indicators of sexual abuse, such as poor personal hygiene, weight loss and appetite. She would also like all children to have access to a school counsellor.