Camila finds it hard to live with the fact that the church chose to protect itself and its reputation
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Camila was sexually abused by a prominent member of her church. She says that when she reported the abuse, ‘They tried to make me feel that it was all in my imagination’.
Camila explains that going to church was a key element of her life when she was growing up. The man who abused her was connected to her family and was held in high esteem by them and their church.
When she was eight years old, this man raped her when she was visiting his house. Her sibling was there too, but not in the same room. Afterwards, she told her sibling something about what had happened, but did not give a full account.
Camila’s sibling told their mother, who immediately blamed her for ‘allowing’ such a thing to happen, and smacked her. However, Camila says, after that her family ended their close friendship with the church official, and she never visited his home again. She thinks this must mean that at the least, her mother had some suspicions.
Camila says her behaviour changed after the rape and she thinks it would have been obvious to teachers at her school that she became very difficult.
Some time after, Camila’s family met with the perpetrator and his family. They accused Camila of lying and denied her allegation on his behalf. At one point, the church pastor told Camila’s mother that she should ‘let sleeping dogs lie’.
At a later date, the church arranged a meeting between Camila and members of her abuser’s family. Again, Camila was accused of lying and threatened with legal action if she continued with her accusations. The abuser’s family was supported by church officials, who asked everyone present to pray and apologise to each other.
Camila says that she was told she had to apologise for upsetting the perpetrator’s mother. He was made to say ‘Sorry, if this has happened’ to her. She attempted suicide after this meeting.
Having tried for many years to persuade the church to acknowledge the truth about what had happened, it was only following publicity about the Savile scandal that Camila reported the abuse to the police. A court case followed and the perpetrator was convicted.
Although he did not receive a long sentence, Camila says that to a degree, his conviction by a jury did make her feel vindicated. However, she still finds it hard to live with the fact that the church chose to protect itself and its reputation rather than a child. She still feels that she wants at least an acknowledgement of the truth from them. She found the court case traumatic, particularly because members of the congregation attended to support the abuser.
Camila has suffered with mental and physical issues because of the abuse. She has had therapy and still maintains religious faith, even though she feels that being so let down by her church has played a big part in her problems.
She feels that the churches should be compelled to act on allegations of child sexual abuse, with consequences if they fail to do this. She adds that they should show concern for victims and survivors, rather than their own reputations.