Caradog’s old school would not acknowledge sexual abuse had taken place there
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Caradog was sexually abused at his public school by other male pupils.
He feels more angry at the way the school responded when he reported this, than he does with the perpetrators.
The boys who abused Caradog were older and stronger than him. The abuse happened when Caradog was between 11 and 12 years old.
One perpetrator raped Caradog in the dormitory and on a school trip. Two other boys at school sexually abused him by trapping him in rooms and touching him.
Caradog says that at the time, he had no notion of what abuse meant. He knew it was wrong and felt shame, but did not feel he could tell his parents or anyone else.
He explains that it was more than 30 years later that he began to deal with the effects of the abuse he suffered.
This was prompted when Caradog visited his GP with a medical issue. The doctor queried possible reasons for his complaint, and he explained he had been raped when he was at school. The GP said this was probably connected, and asked if Caradog had reported the sexual abuse to the police. He decided to do this.
With support from the safeguarding officer at his workplace, Caradog went to the police.
The police contacted the perpetrator, who denied the abuse. He says the police were very helpful, but after some time the Crown Prosecution Service said there was not enough evidence for the case to proceed.
Caradog wrote to his former school detailing the abuse. He was invited to meet with the headteacher, but when he went, the visit was ‘managed’ as if he had requested a tour of the school, and his report of abuse was not acknowledged. Caradog knew he was being manipulated, but felt overwhelmed at returning to the place where he had been abused.
He believes there was ‘a culture of abuse’ at the school and that it is very likely that other children suffered abuse there. He clearly remembers a teacher going ‘from bed to bed’ in the dormitory at night, and that other boys made comments that he now understands related to sexual abuse. Caradog adds that he was not abused by any teachers.
Caradog sums up the long-term effects of abuse; ‘it makes you feel unclean’. He suffers with guilt and shame, has problems with sleeping and has struggled with anger. He has low confidence and self-esteem. He feels anxious and uncomfortable in public toilets and confined spaces.
He feels more angry with the school than the individuals who abused him, particularly because of their lack of response to the letter he wrote to them, and the way they managed his visit.
Caradog feels strongly that there should be higher standards for safeguarding and vetting, especially in residential settings such as schools.
He says ‘I have a lovely life, but these things damaged me inside’. He has had therapy and says it was very helpful. He adds that his wife is very supportive and that his religious faith, exercise and art also help him to cope.