Catriona wanted to go into care, but the social worker said she was being ‘dramatic’
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Catriona grew up in chaos and neglect, with violent parents who took little interest in her beyond abusing her and using her to get state benefits.
She made this statement as a teenager when she was in care: ‘I just want clean clothes, food, and a routine where I can go to school and get my GCSEs’.
Catriona was emotionally, physically and sexually abused by her father from as far back as she can remember. She first told her mother when she was about seven years old, but her father overheard and smashed up the house in a rage.
Her parents split up, but her mother sent Catriona and her sister to visit her father in his flat, where he continued to physically and sexually abuse her. She started to protest more and try to escape, but he would lock the door and windows. He also promised he would not touch her sister if she complied with his wishes.
As Catriona got older, the violence and abuse from her mother became worse. There was hardly ever any food in the house, nor heating or hot water. Her clothes were never washed and her mother would not buy sanitary protection for her daughters.
Catriona remembers that at meetings to discuss her care her mother would only ask about her state benefits. A full care order was not made, and Catriona was still sent to stay with her father when she was home.
When she gave a full account of the abuse that she was enduring to a social worker, she was asked if she was ‘saying it to stay in care’, and had been influenced by other children who had been abused. She remembers she was so devastated at this response that she ran off and locked herself in the toilet.
Some years later, a note by the social worker was read out in court. It said that Catriona had reacted in her ‘usual over-reactive/dramatic way’.
After being sent back home, Catriona ran away repeatedly. She was picked up by the police on many occasions, who did not ask what was wrong, but blamed her and treated her harshly.
When she was 19, Catriona went to college and passed exams that enabled her to get a job in public services. But within a few years, she had to resign as her mental health had deteriorated.
She gave birth to a child, and after a conversation with a relative, she decided to report the abuse to the police.
It was two years before her father was arrested. The trial was a gruelling experience for her, with a lengthy cross-examination, but her father received a long prison sentence. Catriona says it was particularly upsetting to hear the statement from her younger self, expressing such simple needs that were never met.
The abuse she endured has had many life-long consequences. She was devastated to discover that her sister had also been abused.
She was not offered any counselling or support from the police during the investigation, which spanned four years. She says she feels the police ‘do an amazing job’, but thinks support needs to be provided to all victims.
Catriona says she ‘paints a happy face on’ and has no drink, drug or behavioural issues, but she feels let down by mental health services that have failed to deal with the root cause of her problems to help her move forward and live a productive life.
When her father died in prison, she says it finally brought some closure for her.
Catriona takes pride in having a positive and realistic approach to life. She feels it is important to remove the stigma from child sexual abuse so that victims and survivors can rebuild their pride.