Connor is concerned about provision of mental health services for victims and survivors of child sexual abuse
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
After counselling and treatment for a breakdown, Connor feels he has come to terms with the abuse he suffered.
He says abuse has huge consequences for people’s lives and also has wider economic consequences; he feels that good mental health support for victims and survivors is absolutely essential.
Connor was an only child. His father was a senior public servant and the family moved house many times.
Between the ages of eight and 11 years, Connor was groomed and sexually abused by a senior teacher at his school, Mr Jones. For much of this period, Connor’s mother was in hospital suffering with anxiety and depression. His father had to continue working, and Connor was sent to stay with the families of a few of his colleagues.
Connor now knows that Mr Jones wrote a report when he joined the school that spoke about Connor’s emotional vulnerability. He believes this is the reason Mr Jones preyed on him.
The teacher began calling Connor into his office and sexually abusing him. He would give Connor lifts to wherever he was staying. The abuse occurred frequently and Connor says his response was to freeze and ignore that it was happening.
When Connor was 11 years old, he was interviewed by the police about Mr Jones, because another boy had made a complaint about sexual abuse.
He remembers feeling that the police were not very interested in him, and he also felt under pressure from his dad to deny the abuse. Mr Jones was convicted but Connor says ‘he got a fairly derisory sentence … he was out in six months’.
Connor finds it difficult to trust people and has a fear of intimate relationships. When he was in his 30s, he had a mental breakdown that he took several years to recover from.
More recently, he has had counselling specifically for the abuse he suffered, and has found this helpful.
Connor is concerned that NHS mental health services are underfunded and inadequate for the needs of many people. He emphasises the importance of mental health support for victims and survivors. ‘Unless they engage with it, they can’t move forward’ he says.
He feels that he has come to terms with the abuse and is trying to move forward and be more compassionate towards himself, and not feel responsible for what happened. He says this is because of the ‘incredible support’ he has received.
Connor has volunteered as a youth counsellor and has now decided to train as a counsellor.