Courtney’s health condition made her vulnerable to sexual abuse by a classmate
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Courtney suffered from a neurological disorder when she was in primary school.
Her illness made her feel isolated, and she found it hard to form friendships. She was happy when a boy wanted to be friends with her, but his friendship turned into an abusive relationship.
When she was eight years old, Courtney felt that other children were afraid of her, and she was afraid of them. A boy of the same age, who was often teased by the children, started to become friendly with her. She says no one had ever been interested in being friends with her before.
At break times the two children used to go to an out-of-the-way area of the playground. At first they would just talk, but over time, the boy began asking Courtney to take off her clothing. He would also touch her.
At first she didn’t think there was anything wrong with this. The abuse went on every school day for more than a year. Her parents were happy that she had a friend, as she was, and he was invited to the house.
What baffles her is why no member of staff at the school noticed what was happening. She thinks that the other children knew ‘something’, because of the way she was teased, but at the time she was unsure what she was being teased about.
When she was nine, her parents gave her a book on sex education. The book explained that if someone touches your body and you do not like it, it is wrong. She remembers having the sudden realisation that this was happening to her, and it made her feel this was ‘something big, bad and scary’. She also recalls feeling ashamed and that she never wanted anyone to know about it.
After this, she began to bully the perpetrator and she was sent to see the headteacher. She feels angry now that the head did not seem to care about her.
Courtney lives in fear of bumping into the perpetrator, although she thinks this is irrational.
She emphasises how important it is that children learn about their bodies, appropriate boundaries and healthy relationships at an early age. This is particularly important now that children are being subjected to adult images and behaviour.
Schools should explain to pupils how illness can affect behaviour in children, and make efforts to include all children in group activities.