Donovan says abuse can happen to anyone. ‘I had a good childhood and it happened to me’
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Donovan grew up in the 1970s and says he had a happy family life.
He was abused by a sports coach in the Cub Scouts. Years later, he saw media reports about similar abuse and was able to speak about it.
Donovan joined the Cub Scouts when he was seven years old, and played in its football team.
The coach, Robert, would drive some of the boys home after practice. One day, Donovan found himself the last person in the car, and Robert stopped and made him take off his trousers and underwear.
As time went on, Donovan says, it became obvious that it was well known among the boys that the last one in the car would be subjected to this abuse.
Robert continued abusing Donovan, sometimes taking him to the pub where he would buy him a drink and sit with him in a car park. Again, Robert made Donovan undress below the waist and do ‘bizarre exercises’ in the passenger seat of the car.
The abuse went on every weekend for several months. Donovan remembers that Robert told him ‘This is our secret. You mustn’t tell anybody’. He also recalls some of the other boys talking about being in Robert’s car and saying things like ‘Hope it’s not my turn for exercises’.
Donovan feels his confidence was damaged by the abuse. He did not tell anyone about it as a child. When he was an adult, he worried that if he spoke about it, it would not be considered ‘serious enough’ as he was not raped. He thought if he got this reaction, it would ‘destroy’ him.
But when he heard accounts in the media of footballers disclosing abuse, he says ‘it felt like a hand reaching across the decades to my past’.
He contacted a helpline and says he was given very good support. He saw a psychotherapist and although he felt sceptical about this at first, ‘it was good to talk it through and it was really quite helpful’.
When the police were informed, they reacted quickly. At first Donovan found it hard to remember details of events so long ago, but as he gave his statement more came back to him.
Robert denied he had been involved with the Cubs and football team, but the police found evidence that he had. Donovan found out there were other survivors of abuse by Robert. He had not had any contact with the other boys since childhood and says ‘I thought I would be the only one’.
He adds that it felt incredible to have it confirmed that he didn’t dream it.
Donovan heard that the Scout Association was ‘upset and defensive’ when the police contacted them.
Robert died before the case went to court. He had continued working with children as a volunteer into his old age.
Donovan says that it felt like a ‘punch in the gut’ that Robert escaped justice. But he is partly consoled that he did take action and he believes there is a change in attitude about child sexual abuse.
He would like all victims and survivors, not just celebrities, to have a platform to talk about abuse. He said he would be prepared to speak publicly about his experience if it would help prevent others suffering as he did.