Dougal became a drug addict after he was sexually abused, but says he is doing well with his recovery
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Dougal opted to go into care permanently when he was 13 because he thought he would be safer there than in his family home.
But in different children’s homes, he was physically abused by staff and sexually abused by an older boy.
Dougal suffered neglect and physical and emotional abuse throughout his childhood. He remembers that he ‘wasn’t treated very well’ as a small boy; he was often physically hurt and he was always hungry.
He knows that the family had regular contact with social services and he spent time in and out of care or being looked after by other family members.
After a particularly violent attack by his mother, who was angry because he had helped himself to some food, Dougal ran away from home. He told social services he didn’t want to go back and was placed in a local children’s home.
At first, Dougal said he felt ‘all right’ at the home, but he couldn’t settle, and he and a friend ran away. When a social worker took the boys back, Dougal was caned so severely by two members of staff that he had welts on his back. He remembers deliberately ‘putting on a brave face’ and showing no emotion.
Dougal was moved to a different site of the home where the staff were even more strict. He describes how they ‘picked on’ and bullied individual boys. He remembers a man on night duty who would ‘come by your bed and scare you’. He says some boys would go missing from their beds for periods of time during the night.
During his time in this centre, Dougal was sexually abused by an older boy called Damien, who would go to his bed and make him ‘do things’. He thinks this went on for some time and he realised later that staff knew what Damien was doing, and did nothing about it. Dougal still feels very upset about this. He says it was ‘not a very nice time in his life’ and he attempted suicide twice.
A few years later, Dougal was sent to a residential college in a rural area, which he describes as a ‘frightening and intimidating place’. Bullying was rife and he was subjected to more physical and sexual abuse. But, he says, ‘there was nowhere to go and tell anyone about what was happening’.
Many years later, Dougal was contacted by the police, who were investigating claims of abuse at the residential care home. He told them about the physical abuse by the staff but didn’t disclose the abuse by Damien. He now feels this was a missed opportunity.
The impact of the physical and sexual abuse he endured throughout his teenage years has had a significant impact on Dougal’s life. He misused drugs and became a heroin addict. For many years after he left college, he got involved in criminal activity and spent time in prison. He thinks he isolates himself because he finds it hard to trust people and has difficulties with relationships.
Dougal believes he was let down by the care system. He feels very strongly that children who are in care because of neglect or family breakdown need continuing support and care. He also says that too often, offenders' experiences of abuse aren’t taken into account. He has a very positive memory of a judge who didn’t send him to prison for an offence, but said ‘I hope you get the help you deserve’.
Dougal says this was an important turning point for him and he went into rehabilitation treatment for his drug addiction. He now feels he is doing well and is progressing on his recovery programme. He has friends and some family members who are supportive and have helped him move on.