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IICSA published its final Report in October 2022. This website was last updated in January 2023.



Evie says ‘My first memory of hating myself is aged six’

All names and identifying details have been changed.

Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.

Evie’s parents were alcoholics and drug users. They inflicted severe emotional and physical damage on Evie and her older brother. 

Further horror was inflicted on her by her older brother, who sexually abused her when she was between the ages of six and 12 years.

Both Evie and her brother were beaten and neglected at home. She described being ‘lashed’ with bamboo canes by her father. Her mother later told her that she saw her children being ‘kicked like footballs’ around a bedroom by their father when Evie was around five years old. 

Evie’s brother groomed her by encouraging her to watch pornography on his computer, rewarding her with sweets and cakes. He would try and re-enact the fetish and rape fantasy images with his sister. 

Evie did not want to talk in detail about the sexual abuse, but she gave examples of things her brother did that caused bleeding to her genital area. It continued two or three times a week for several years before it reduced, then stopped completely. She says her brother was sometimes under the influence of drugs when he abused her.

She relates that she went from being a ‘high achiever’ to not attending school, using drugs and attempting suicide at 16 years old. But she says, ‘Nobody ever asked me any questions. Not once’. 

Her mother did once walk in when Evie’s brother was abusing her but swore at them and walked out. She adds that when she was nine years old, a teacher once saw her wiping blood from her genital area with toilet paper but did nothing about it.

Evie says she tried to ask for help when she was about 12 but little was done. She recalls ‘Nobody ever told me “we won’t tell your parents whatever you tell us’’.’

When she was 17, she gave a full account of the abuse to a counsellor and was supported through an interview with social services. She didn’t want to report the abuse to the police because she didn’t want to enter the care system. She also says it was clear that her brother no longer presented a risk to her or anyone else. Social services agreed and no further action was taken. 

Evie would like to see educational campaigns to increase awareness about appropriate boundaries and the effects of child sexual abuse. She wants an investigation into pornographic online games.

She recommends there should be more provision of counsellors in schools and improved access to specialist counselling for survivors. She describes her counsellor as ‘the best… she’s 90% of the reason I’m here’.


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