Flint says ‘I hold more anger towards institutions than the abuser. They are set up to help people’
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Flint was traumatised as a nine year old after being sexually abused by a teenage male.
He suffered with the effects of this for nearly 10 years, and was dismayed when the police said it happened too long ago for them to investigate.
The teenager, Deano, who sexually abused Flint was a babysitter who was known to Flint’s family. Deano told Flint he had been put in charge of him because he had been naughty. He pretended at first they were playing a game and made Flint choose a consequence, then anally raped him.
Flint did not fully understand what had happened, but knew that it was very wrong.
Soon after the rape, Flint began suffering from regular fainting episodes. He was sent to a specialist hospital for investigations, including a brain scan, but no medical explanation could be found.
Deano had made it clear to Flint that he would hurt him if he told anyone about the abuse. Although Flint had a ‘wonderful’ relationship with his parents, he says he couldn’t bring himself to tell them what had happened to him; he worried that they would feel guilty and upset for leaving him with a person who sexually abused him.
But as time went on, Flint became increasingly concerned at the thought that Deano might be abusing other children. ‘I remember feeling responsible that he might do it again’, he says. When he was 17 or 18, he felt he could not keep the secret any more.
He summoned the courage to go to his local police station and was taken in a police car to a bigger station. Here he recounted again what had happened to him and gave details of the perpetrator.
Flint was astonished, distressed and incensed to be told that there was nothing they could do because the rape happened too long ago. They told him that if they had any other reports about the abuser then they would get in touch with him. ‘I felt very fobbed off’ he says.
A few years later, still traumatised by the abuse, Flint went to confession and shared with a Catholic priest that he felt confused about his sexuality. During his confession, he realised the priest was masturbating.
Flint reported this and was put in touch with a child protection officer in the church. However, this person was not supportive and gave no indication that the matter would be investigated or dealt with.
Flint is certain that the abuse he experienced has had a profound effect on his life. He has suffered depression, PTSD and has also attempted suicide. He has found it difficult to maintain relationships.
Because of his experiences, Flint says it is important that if a child suddenly has physical symptoms of an illness that can’t be understood, that assumptions about the cause are not made too early.
He adds that professionals should ask the child if there are any issues in their life causing them concern.
He finds it hard to understand the police response to such a serious crime, which could have been committed against more victims. ‘Take an interest when people talk to you … it takes guts to come forward’ he says.
Flint feels strongly, based on his own experiences, that ‘Institutions don’t protect … you have to look after yourself’.
He has had therapy which he feels has been helpful. He adds that sharing his experience with the Truth Project has been a very positive experience for him. ‘It’s somewhere to come and have your voice heard.’