Hayden gave a statement to the police after he was sexually abused, but did not hear from them again
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Hayden was sexually abused by the son of his father’s partner.
At the age of 10, he was interviewed by the police, but no one explained to him why the investigation did not proceed.
Hayden’s parents separated when he was a very young child. His dad moved in with a new partner who had children of her own.
When Hayden went to stay at his dad’s, he slept in a room with one of the partner’s sons, Kane.
Kane was about six years older than Hayden, and very controlling. Hayden says ‘If you even laughed at something, you had to explain why’.
By the time Hayden was about eight years old, he became aware that Kane was masturbating in the bunk bed below him. Soon after, Kane started to make Hayden look at what he was doing. He then used threats to make Hayden touch his penis and masturbate him.
Hayden says at the time he didn’t understand this was wrong. Kane told him it was a secret. Hayden adds that Kane was ‘good friends’ with him during the day and played games with him. But at night, the abuse got worse. Kane made Hayden put his penis in his mouth. He carried on threatening the younger boy that he must not say anything.
The sexual abuse occurred on several visits, until Hayden told another relative what had happened. He was 10 by this time, and he thinks he had realised that what Kane was doing was wrong.
The relative told Hayden’s mum who reported the abuse to the police.
Hayden was taken with his mum and stepfather to a police station. He says no one explained anything to him about the procedure and he was taken into a room with two people; he thinks one was a police officer and the other may have been a social worker.
He says these people ‘were lovely’ and they allowed him to draw pictures and show them with a doll what Kane had done.
When the interview was over, they said they would be in touch. But Hayden says ‘From the moment I walked out of that building that was the last thing I ever heard. Nothing ever happened afterwards’.
He adds that his mother did not hear from the police either. ‘It really got to me and got to my mum that nothing happened’.
Hayden doesn’t know if Kane was questioned but his dad didn’t speak to him again.
After this, Hayden became very disruptive at school. He says his stepfather was very supportive but not seeing his dad affected him and he took his frustration out on his mum. Looking back, he doesn’t understand why he did this.
He is still very troubled about the lack of police action. ‘That’s what really dug deep the most. I can push what happened aside … but what I can’t forget is that the police didn’t do anything’ he says.
Hayden feels he was told to ‘be brave and speak out’ but the only result was that he lost a relationship with his dad. He feels very strongly that if the police interview a child who makes allegations of sexual abuse, they must tell the child and their family what the outcome is.
He continued trying to make contact with his dad, but in his early 20s he gave up. ‘My mum’s done a good enough job’ he says.
Hayden still feels affected by the sexual abuse he was subjected to as a child and concerned about his mental health. He says ‘I was so confused and I’ve been so confused for many years. When I have time on my own and have space to think, it comes back to me ... it’s hanging over me’.
When he saw an advertisement for the Truth Project, Hayden thought ‘This is exactly what I need to do’. He adds that he hopes by speaking out he can help other children.