Isabel

A threatening and disturbing event that happened on a school trip abroad terrified Isabel at the time. The lack of an appropriate response by school staff compounded her distress and had a lasting effect on her wellbeing.

Isabel had been very excited about the trip to a foreign city. The group of teenagers stayed in a youth hostel and she shared a large dormitory with other girls. One night several men came into the room to move some mattresses. Isabel and the other girls felt uncomfortable and disturbed that this had happened. They complained but the teachers and hostel staff did not seem to take their concerns seriously.

The following night, Isabel awoke in the dark to find a man sitting on the end of her bed speaking to her friend. The man was trying to get her friend to take her clothes off. 

Isabel was terrified. The man realised she was awake and he persisted in trying to sexually abuse both girls. When he took a photograph of her friend, Isabel says she knew she had to do something. She ran out of the room screaming, and went to the teachers’ room, banging, shouting and crying at the door.

Isabel remembers she was so frightened she cried and the teachers removed her from the dormitory as they were worried she would upset the others. Eventually Isabel was taken to hospital and given some medication to calm her that made her feel groggy and disoriented.

The police came and showed Isabel and her friend pictures of different men, but they couldn’t identify the attacker as his face had been covered. The teachers would not allow any of the children to phone their parents but at some stage they sent a fax to Isabel’s father telling him what had happened.

As the trip continued Isabel remained extremely upset. She didn’t want to wash because she was too scared to be alone and get undressed, to the point where she began to smell, which the others noticed.

Back home she says the whole incident was almost ignored. It was very difficult for her – she says it was as if people did not believe it had happened or that they didn’t recognise what an awful experience it had been for her.

She felt she had been humiliated in front of everyone and then dismissed. She felt like an outcast who was seen as a problem and made to feel partly responsible for what had happened.

The experience continued to have a serious impact on Isabel throughout the rest of her time at the school and into adulthood. She says 'That moment was my loss of innocence. I was let down and I changed.' 

She would go through periods of not washing, through fear of getting undressed. When she bathed she would ask her mother to sit in the bathroom with her as she was frightened to be left alone.

Isabel did not talk to her parents about the sexual abuse, and no one talked about it at school. She says the teachers seemed to have no plan to deal with it and took no responsibility, despite the fact the experience had affected her profoundly and the children’s relationships in the class. 

As she grew up, Isabel had problems with self-esteem and confidence. She felt vulnerable and very emotional a lot of the time and found it difficult to make friends.

When she was older Isabel told a friend about what had happened. Following this she received counselling and says she was able to work through her emotions and understand herself better. It was very helpful but cost her a lot money that she feels she should have been able to spend on establishing her life and buying a house.

She has suffered depression and continues to do so at times. She says that over the last couple of years things have improved for her and she is beginning to feel more confident.

Isabel says it has been a very beneficial experience to speak openly in a safe place to the Truth Project. She believes there needs to be more open dialogue between parents and organisations when abuse happens to support victims better.

She would like to see more help given to children to develop emotional resilience and understanding of taking care of their own mental health.

She adds 'I wanted to share my experience because I felt very affected by the care and support from the school … or lack of, and that has had a big impact on my life.'