As a victim and survivor of abuse, Jasmin campaigns for improved child protection
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Jasmin had to battle to obtain complete records of her childhood from social services.
She received an out-of-court settlement for their failure to protect her from sexual and physical abuse.
Jasmin’s mum was a sex worker. Jasmin knows from her records that she was admitted to hospital due to neglect and injuries caused by accidents when she was very young. She was also fostered several times by a family who wanted to adopt her, but social services decided she should remain with her mother.
Also from her files, Jasmin knows the police came to the house and noted it was dirty and smelly, and they came again when she was found at the age of three or four years walking outside on her own.
Her memories from when she got older include being sexually abused by the son of one of her mum’s friends, who used to babysit her. He touched her and made her touch his penis. When Jasmin started crying, he threatened her that if she told her mum, she would be taken away and would never see her mum again.
Jasmin did once tell her mum that her friend’s son was hurting her, but her mum told her to shut up.
Some time later, another man started babysitting Jasmin. She now knows he was her mother’s pimp. She says ‘At first he was really nice. He put his arms around me, kissed my head and made me feel safe’ and she confided in him about the abuse by the boy. He said he would never let anyone hurt her again.
But after a couple of weeks, he started kissing her mouth and other parts of her. He told her she was beautiful and special, and Jasmin says ‘I thought he actually does care about me’.
By this time, Jasmin had seen her mum have sex with different men. She thought it was normal, and the way you show love.
When Jasmin was about nine, her mum, her stepdad, and their children moved to a new house in another area. ‘It was a nice house and seemed like a brand new start’ she says, ‘but a different kind of abuse started’.
Her mum and stepdad had two children together. Jasmin is of dual heritage and her mum and stepdad were white, so it was obvious that he was not her father.
She was verbally, physically and emotionally abused, often being beaten by her stepdad and sometimes by her mother. ‘My mum would call me all sorts of names’ she says, but if she ever answered back she was made to sit outside and eat her dinner, even in bad weather.
Social services used to visit the family, but they never spoke to Jasmin.
After a vicious assault by her mother, when Jasmin was 14, Jasmin told her best friend what had happened, and she told a teacher. Jasmin was called to the headteacher’s office who saw bruises and bite marks on her and called social services, and also Jasmin’s parents.
Jasmin’s parents arrived and spoke to social services, and then took Jasmin home. After that, they sent her to another school.
The physical abuse continued, with her mum hitting her through the quilt so the bruises didn’t show.
After Jasmin was old enough to leave home, she got involved in some abusive relationships with men. One of them hurt her so badly she was admitted to hospital. She had children and at one stage was sleeping rough with them.
Jasmin’s life changed when she met her husband. She has told him about her childhood experiences and says ‘He’s just amazing’. She started seeing a therapist and found this very helpful. She distanced herself from her mother and stepfather, who are now both dead.
She decided to ask social services for a copy of the information they held about her. At first they only gave her 16 pages. Convinced this was not all they had, she contacted a solicitor and obtained the complete file, which runs to nearly 1,000 pages.
Jasmin took social services to court for failing to protect her. The case was settled out of court with them offering Jasmin substantial damages.
She still suffers with nightmares every night.
Jasmin believes that children should always be listened to, and that adults are more likely to lie. She says there should be no time limit on when an abuser can be prosecuted and that the word ‘historical’ should not be used in connection with abuse. ‘It’s not history to me, I live with this every day’ she says.
She has written about her experiences of child abuse and has been involved in high-profile campaigns for improved protection of children.