Lack of love from her parents made it easy for Jeanette’s older brother to exploit and abuse her
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Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Jeanette and her siblings were neglected and physically abused by their parents.
She craved affection and this made her vulnerable to sexual abuse by her half-brother.
Jeanette grew up in the 1970s. Her mother and stepfather treated their children so badly that she and her siblings were placed in foster care and children’s homes on several occasions.
She remembers how desperate she felt for love and attention. When she was seven years old, one of her half-brothers, who was in his early teens, took her to a bedroom on the top floor of the house. He told her to get on the bed, saying that they were going to have ‘special brother time’. He then masturbated himself and penetrated her digitally.
The same thing happened again shortly afterwards. Jeanette explains that she did not understand the nature of what he was doing, but she liked the attention and she would ‘pester’ her brother for more ‘special brother time’.
The next time her brother took her to the room, he raped her. She describes how much it hurt and how she cried. She bled for several days afterwards, and she hid and then buried her soiled clothing.
After this, her brother did not abuse her again.
As an adult, Jeanette reported the abuse to the police. She was believed, but her half-brother was not prosecuted. She thinks this was because of his age at the time of the offence.
Jeanette says she has cut herself off from her family, and adds that the abuse she suffered as a child has taken its toll on her marriage.
She feels strongly that it should be made easier for children to report abuse by giving them different ways to do this. She suggests there should be a designated person at school and a box where children could post notes about their problems.
Jeanette had to travel a lot during the police investigation as she had moved away to a different area, and she thinks that reporting and investigating child sexual abuse should become more ‘victim focussed’.
She did not receive any support after she reported the abuse. She did try to access some, but feels she was ‘pushed from pillar to post’. She would like to see a more joined-up approach to this kind of support. She says ‘Help should be a click away for a child’.