Jenna-Louise says people should not go by appearances when children report sexual abuse by family members
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Jenna-Louise was not believed when she tried to tell people she was being sexually abused by her foster brother and physically abused by her father.
She thinks this is because her father was a social worker and seen as ‘a good guy’.
When Jenna-Louise was growing up in the 1970s and 80s with her two siblings, she never felt her parents were interested in their children. Both of them were absorbed in their work.
When Jenna-Louise was very young, her father brought a man with severe mental health issues to stay with the family. He was very violent and Jenna-Louise recalls her mum telling her to hide in her bedroom when he was having ‘meltdowns’.
A few years after this man left, Jenna-Louise’s parents fostered a teenage boy, Jay. He was about 16 when he joined the family.
Jay sexually abused Jenna-Louise. The abuse began with him penetrating her with his fingers and objects, and escalated to rape. Jenna-Louise describes how he exploited the situation with her parents and says ‘The sick part is I loved him because he paid me attention … he said “No one will love you like I do”’.
Her father physically abused his children, frequently beating them with splintered sticks. She used to try and protect the younger ones from his violence by standing between him and them.
Nonetheless, Jenna-Louise says ‘I was a little girl who adored her daddy’. She told him about the abuse by Jay, but he flew into a rage, accusing her of lying. Then he beat her and choked her until she almost passed out.
She says ‘After that, I was dead to him’. He was even more cold towards her and had little to do with her throughout the rest of her childhood. She adds that the abuse by Jay became worse, because he knew she had told her father about it, but he didn’t do anything.
The abuse ended when the family moved to a different area and Jay did not go with them.
Jenna-Louise did not mention the abuse again until she was a teenager. She told her mother, who replied that she had ‘suspected something’ and had mentioned it to the social worker who visited Jay. Jenna-Louise says that she had once also tried to tell this social worker she was being abused.
She often went to school with bruises and did tell a teacher that her dad had beaten her, but again, no action was taken. She says ‘When I look back I can’t believe that happened. I think because he was a social worker and was ‘a good guy’ no one would believe me. I was scared of him [my father] but everyone thought he was charming’.
Jenna-Louise says she still feels fearful every day, and suffers with depression and anxiety. At times she has felt suicidal.
She emphasises that professionals should not dismiss children who try to report abuse. They should be especially careful not to be influenced by the status and apparent charm or respectability of their parents.