Jimi says all he wants is recognition of what happened to him and apologies for being let down
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Jimi was severely physically abused as a young child by his mum and stepdad.
He was put in care, and sexually abused by staff and other youngsters in the system.
Jimi describes being beaten so badly by his parents that he suffered broken bones and serious facial injuries.
When he was seven years old, Jimi was placed in a children's care home. Here he was sexually abused by one of the staff, who took Jimi to his car and touched him.
When Jimi was 11, he was sent to a residential school. There were about 80 boys of secondary school age living there, separated into dorms according to their ages.
Jimi says there was not much focus on education at the school and he didn’t gain any qualifications while he was there. The boys were made to go to church every Sunday.
Jimi was sexually abused by several older boys. The abuse included rape and oral penetration. He doesn’t remember their names, but says he will never forget the abuse.
After several months, Jimi was so desperate to escape the abuse he threw himself from a height. He was sent to the sick bay and this gave him some respite, but as soon as he had recovered, he was sent back to sleep in the dormitory. No one asked him why he had hurt himself.
He ran away from the school, but was picked up hitchhiking and returned.
When Jimi was in his 20s, the police contacted him because they were investigating abuse at the children’s home. At this stage, Jimi says, he had never told anyone about the abuse he suffered, and the call was such a shock to him he did not want to get involved.
Jimi has since accessed his social services files. He can see that there are several references to him being ‘a child at risk’, but a lot of the detail was so heavily redacted he wasn’t able to learn much about his time in care.
He suffers with PTSD and mental health problems. He takes anti-depressants and sees a psychiatrist. He says that he has felt a lot of anger and at the same time, he has always felt responsible for the abuse he suffered. ‘It’s all my fault ... I am to blame for what happened’ he says.
Jimi is plagued by self-doubt and feelings of worthlessness and finds it difficult to hold down a job. He adds that he has found it hard to bond with his children because he was not loved as a child.
Jimi says he would like an apology from social services, the residential school and his mum for what happened to him.
He believes that abuse is still going on in children’s homes and would like to see them all closed down.
Jimi says his current partner is very supportive and knows about the abuse he suffered.