Katie-Leigh says she let people hurt her in the hope one of them would love her
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Katie-Leigh grew up in the 1970s. Her father was in the armed forces.
He sexually abused Katie-Leigh and this set her on a self-destructive path that began with her taking an overdose at the age of seven.
Her father began abusing Katie-Leigh when she was about six years old. By the time she was eight, he was regularly raping her. She says he also abused her sibling.
The children once ran away in the middle of the night but were taken home by the police and received a severe beating from their mother.
Katie-Leigh believes her mother became aware of the abuse but said nothing. The fact that her mother cared for other children in her professional life but allowed her own daughters to be harmed causes Katie-Leigh immense hurt and distress.
Katie-Leigh says no one ever asked her why she was self-harming and running away. If she tried to talk about what was happening to her she was dismissed as ‘a naughty, lying girl’.
Both sisters were sent to a boarding school where Katie-Leigh got into more trouble. She was expelled and sent to another school, which only allowed her to return home every few weeks. She says she preferred this as it kept her away from her father.
At one stage her father was posted overseas. Although by this time Katie-Leigh had told her mother that he was sexually abusing her, her account was not acknowledged and she was sent to visit him. Her father abused her when she got there.
Some time after this, while Katie-Leigh was still at school, her mother died. When she was told she would have to live with her father, she ran away. She told the police about the abuse and after being disbelieved initially, her father admitted that he had touched her inappropriately.
However, her sister was too scared to support her and tried to persuade her to take the blame and keep their father out of prison.
By this time Katie-Leigh was a young teenager. She was moved around a number of children’s homes and attempted suicide. She explains that in a search for affection, she started having sex with strangers. This led to rape and a pregnancy.
She says her education was ‘ruined’ as a result of her experiences, and for a time she was involved in minor crimes and drug abuse.
She has children but says she has to work to manage her worry about them and balance natural parental concern with her own experiences of being abused.
Her father was eventually convicted but Katie-Leigh says the extended family ‘rallied round him’ and she was blamed for speaking out. She did not receive any support from her family, the police or social services.
Katie-Leigh was not asked to be involved with the court case and feels that she should have been offered the opportunity to give her account. She says that courts should listen to children even if the abuser pleads guilty.
She also feels that social workers should ensure they offer counselling and support to victims and survivors, even if it is not expressly asked for.