Lennon says ‘I was let down and I don’t want other people to be let down’
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Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Lennon says his religious parents were more interested in doing ‘good works’ in the community than in their own children.
He thinks this made him susceptible to sexual abuse, and that he was also let down by other adults and institutions.
Lennon’s family life revolved around events and activities at the local Anglican church.
When he was 11 years old, he joined the Scout group associated with the parish. The Scout leader, Samuel, sexually abused Lennon.
He is not sure how long the abuse went on for. It involved the leader masturbating him in the car, or the Scout hut, and sometimes on camps.
Samuel was a family friend and often came to social gatherings at Lennon’s house. ‘I remember always having a cold chill whenever I saw him’ says Lennon.
Lennon remembers how much he hated Samuel, and the abuse, but at the same time ‘he was someone who actually took an interest in me’.
He feels confused and troubled that he didn’t tell anyone about the abuse. ‘I can’t work it out … I was never threatened’ he says. ‘I don’t understand why I hated him so much and still tried to impress him. It was a horrible experience.’
Lennon says his parents probably didn’t notice there was anything happening to him because they were preoccupied with helping troubled youngsters in the local area. One of his siblings also had behavioural problems. Lennon comments ‘My parents thought they were God’s gift to the community but they weren’t listening to their own family’.
He believes Samuel abused more children – he once walked in on the leader sexually molesting a teenage girl. He remembers hearing a comment by one of the other adults in the church that makes him believe they knew there was abuse going on in the Scout group.
Lennon is not sure why or when the abuse ended.
As an adult with a family of his own, Lennon saw a local news story that Samuel was still working with young people. ‘Again, a horrible chill came over me … I thought “I’ve got to do something”.’ He adds that it seemed that every week he heard a story in the media about child sexual abuse.
He decided to confront Samuel about the abuse. ‘I don’t know what I thought I would get out of it, but I wanted to know he wasn’t abusing any children’ he says.
Lennon found Samuel and asked him to explain himself. ‘But he didn’t – he just made excuses. I got nothing out of it. I was back to being an 11-year-old kid again … back to being a submissive child.’
A few years after this, Lennon went to a police station and reported the abuse by Samuel. He was interviewed, an investigation followed, and other people who had been abused by the Scout leader were interviewed.
The police did not charge Samuel, but they did not contact Lennon to tell him and he only found out because he called to ask how the case was progressing.
Lennon says he already felt let down by the church and the Scout group, and after this he felt let down by the police too. ‘The one institution that should be taking me seriously decided to ignore me. So I dropped it. I thought “I can’t keep calling, it’s always me doing the running”’ he says.
Some time later, Lennon told his parents that Samuel had sexually abused him, but he says they made it clear they did not want to hear about it.
Lennon says ‘I know I’m not a balanced person, but I don’t know if it’s because of the abuse’. He thinks that he can sometimes be ‘numb to other people’s feelings’ and says he feels very angry, and suffers with stress, anxiety and depression … ‘but then doesn’t everybody?’ he asks.
He comments that when he was at school in the 1970s, ‘I was a bloody nuisance’, but he is not surprised that the teachers did not pick up any signs that he was being abused. ‘It was a different style of teaching … I think children are safer today and I hope I’m right in that assumption’ he says.
Lennon adds that he thinks there is ‘healthy discussion’ and awareness about child sexual abuse today and he hopes the police respond better to reports of abuse. ‘I just wanted to be listened to and for them to say “We are going to do something”.’
Lennon found it hard to access counselling. He has had some therapy but says it was not right for him. More recently he has contacted an organisation for victims and survivors, and he says this is providing valuable support.
He has a happy marriage and family life, and feels he has been reasonably successful in his work.
Lennon pays tribute to victims and survivors who have come forward to the Truth Project. ‘Thank you to the brave people who have made this possible. I wanted to tell this story because I’ve not been heard’ he says.