After his traumatic early life, Lyndon finds solace in writing poetry and drawing
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Lyndon says he has felt abandoned all his life.
From a young age, he was neglected and left vulnerable to sexual abuse.
Lyndon describes a chaotic early childhood. His father was violent to his mother and the couple separated. The children were left to their own devices and wandered the streets. During this time, Lyndon was sexually abused by an older boy in a derelict building.
The family moved a lot. He was bullied at school, and says he became a bully himself. By the time he was 12 he was involved in a gang, dealing drugs and stealing. He appeared in a youth court and was sent to a children’s home.
Lyndon stayed there for two years; during this time, two male members of staff, Fred and Tom, regularly sexually abused and raped him. Lyndon says ‘I was in so much pain I was screaming’, but no one came to help. He remembers Tom shouting in his ear ‘shut up’.
Lyndon describes how abandoned he felt, wondering why his mother let him go to the home. He doesn’t recall anyone ever coming to inspect the home or check on the children.
Fred, Tom and other staff in the home were also physically and psychologically abusive to Lyndon. He was beaten, punched and thrown down the stairs. They threatened to hurt his mum and put him in prison.
He remembers Tom telling the children they were ‘rats and vermin’ and that the staff could do what they liked to the children because ‘nobody cares’ and their families didn’t want them. He says ‘The place was full of fear’.
For the two years that Lyndon was in the home, he received no education.
After he left, Lyndon went back to live with his mum and stepdad. He did return to school, but he started getting into trouble and he says ‘the police were all over me all the time’.
He was sent to Borstal, which he says he loved. He enjoyed the outdoor and sports activities, and being part of a team. He didn’t want to leave.
At the age of 18, he received his first prison sentence, and he continued getting into trouble until he was in his 40s.
Lyndon has made several attempts at suicide. He was 30 when he learned to read and write properly. He suffers from psychosis and has abused alcohol and drugs. He says he still feels ‘very hurt and lost’.
He has reported the abuse at the children’s home to the police, but he says they only seemed interested in the crimes he had committed. However, he has received compensation for the abuse he suffered.
Lyndon feels he was let down by the system, particularly by social services and education. He says no one believed him and it is essential for children to have someone to speak to, and what they say must be acted on.
To keep residents and inmates safe in children’s homes and prisons, he thinks staff should wear body cameras.
He would like to see adults and children encouraged to use artwork and poetry to express the abuse they have suffered. He says he was ‘shut down for so long’ until a counsellor encouraged him to draw, and it allowed him to open up.
Lyndon is in a stable relationship and has children. He says they have helped to keep him ‘straight’, although he adds that during lockdown he has been drinking more.
He writes poetry and he still finds drawing therapeutic.