Lysa says deaf or hard of hearing victims and survivors need support that is tailored to their needs
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Lysa is deaf and throughout her childhood she was mocked and emotionally and sexually abused by one of her brothers.
She came to the Truth Project because she wanted to be heard and believed.
Lysa comes from a large family. Her father was an abusive alcoholic. Her parents separated and her mother married another man. All three of her parental adults are deaf.
One of Lysa’s earliest memories, from when she was seven, is of her brother Ryan bullying and intimidating her. Ryan is older than her and able to hear. He used to call her ‘mental’ and mocked any friends she made until she dropped them.
When Lysa was nine, he sexually abused her, trying to penetrate her. He did this several more times, but she is not sure for how long it continued. She says Ryan used to manipulate other members of the family with stories about ‘what was going on upstairs’.
For a time, Ryan shared a bedroom with Lysa and tried to have sex with her. He also forced Lysa to ask two of her friends to engage in sex with him.
He used to give her money when he abused her. She says the family were very short of money, and the children were often not given dinner money.
On one occasion, when she saw Ryan in the street she tried to run away from him and was badly injured. But she says no one questioned why she was running away and no one seemed to care.
Lysa often used to stay at her grandma’s but she didn’t feel she could tell her about the abuse. She thinks all her siblings knew about it, and that Ryan abused some of the others too, but they never discussed it until years later when they were adults.
Later, Lysa reported Ryan to the police. The case went to court, he claimed she was lying and was put on probation.
Lysa has suffered with depression and flashbacks. She has attempted suicide and abused alcohol. Relationships among her family members are strained and difficult, mainly because of the way that Ryan behaves. Lysa has had counselling but has not found it helpful.
She feels strongly that more information about abuse should be available and accessible for deaf and disabled victims and survivors. Lysa says she grew up watching television without subtitles and, as a result, did not know about many things.