Malika says ‘I never ate properly, I never had a childhood … no one ever read me a bedtime story
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Malika’s stepfather sexually abused her, and he and her mother were sent to prison for violently assaulting her.
Over the following seven years, she was sent to 13 different care placements. She suffered further abuse in many of them.
Malika was a baby when she was brought to the UK from a country in Central Africa. She never knew her father, and at times, the woman she knows as her mother, Julia, told her that she was not really her mother.
Julia had serious mental health problems. Malika had a brother and she says their mother did not look after them well, and often left them alone in the house.
Malika’s mother met a new partner, David, at her church. He moved in with them and told the children to call him ‘dad’. Very soon, Malika says, ‘things became horrid at home’. David beat the children and would torture her by making her hold her bike over her head for long periods. He also physically abused her mother.
Malika thinks she was about eight years old when David began sexually abusing her. She says when he was about to go out, he would tell her ‘to get naked’ for him, then come back and touch her. He did this in the bedroom where she slept with her sibling.
She says ‘I was so young I didn’t know what was going on’. As time went on, she says, ‘I had the feeling mum knew … she’d be downstairs when it happened’.
Social services were involved with Malika’s brother because he had a developmental disability. Malika says that when they visited the house, they would sometimes ask her how things were but she didn’t say anything about the abuse. ‘I didn’t want to get into trouble’, she says.
Nala says there was a support worker at her school who she liked and trusted, and would sometimes talk to. One day Nala told her some family news – not related to the abuse but something that Nala saw as positive but her mother had told her not to tell anyone.
It got back to Julia that Nala had told the support worker the news. Both she and David violently assaulted Nala to punish her. She says ‘I still have the marks on my back’.
The next day they would not let her go to school because of her injuries. The school contacted social services and the police, and Nala and her sibling were removed from the family home and placed in foster care.
Julia and David were subsequently sent to prison. Nala’s understanding is that they were sentenced for physical abuse, and that the sexual abuse was not part of the case.
From the age of nine until she was in her mid teens, Nala lived in 13 different foster placements. She says only one of the carers gave her any love or support. In other homes she was subjected to emotional, physical and sexual abuse.
After being raped by associates of one foster carer, Nala spoke to the police. But the foster carer did not support her and the perpetrators threatened her. She says ‘I dropped it because I didn’t want to go through with it’.
Malika says there was a support worker at her school who she liked and trusted, and would sometimes talk to. One dayMalika told her some family news – not related to the abuse but something that Malika saw as positive but her mother had told her not to tell anyone.
It got back to Julia that Malika had told the support worker the news. Both she and David violently assaulted Malika to punish her. She says ‘I still have the marks on my back’.
The next day they would not let her go to school because of her injuries. The school contacted social services and the police, and Malika and her sibling were removed from the family home and placed in foster care.
Julia and David were subsequently sent to prison. Malika’s understanding is that they were sentenced for physical abuse, and that the sexual abuse was not part of the case.
From the age of nine until she was in her mid teens, Malika lived in 13 different foster placements. She says only one of the carers gave her any love or support. In other homes she was subjected to emotional, physical and sexual abuse.
After being raped by associates of one foster carer, Malika spoke to the police. But the foster carer did not support her and the perpetrators threatened her. She says ‘I dropped it because I didn’t want to go through with it’.
Malika has been affected in numerous ways by her painful experiences. She says she was always ‘naughty’ when she was fostered, and knew she would be moved on. Because of this, she says, ‘I could not make friends ... I was so lonely’.
She suffers with depression, anxiety and low-self esteem. She has self-harmed and had suicidal thoughts.
Malika says she would like to be sure that foster homes are safe and that children will be listened to. She would like to have some counselling.
Before coming to the Truth Project, Malika says, she had never spoken in such detail about her experiences. She adds ‘For years, I didn’t feel anyone cared about me’.
She has a child now and this brings her joy, and she says she feels safe in her home. She is still in touch with the support worker from school.