Monty says ‘Even today, after all this time, I can see it all’
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Monty still experiences vivid flashbacks of the abuse he was subjected to more than 60 years ago.
However, he feels he manages his life well and says there are many things he enjoys and takes comfort from.
Monty was born in the early 1940s. He says ‘it was a very happy childhood’. The family were regular church-goers and Monty was given lots of opportunities to attend youth activities and sport clubs through the church.
Monty is on the autistic spectrum and he preferred his own company to socialising with other children. One evening, after attending a tennis club, he was cycling home alone along a quiet lane when the club coach caught up with him on his bike.
He pushed Monty into the bushes by the roadside, held a knife to his throat, and forced the boy to perform oral sex on him. Monty was 13 years old. ‘I couldn’t do anything … the knife was six to eight inches long … I couldn’t struggle.’
Monty arrived home in great distress and told his mother what had happened. ‘She didn’t believe me, she said “nobody would do that”’ he says.
He thinks his mother did contact the tennis club sometime later, but he does not remember if anything happened as a result; certainly the police did not get involved.
After the sexual assault, Monty avoided the coach and only saw him a few times again. ‘It took quite a while for it to sink in. I got no help or support at all; I had to live with it’ he says.
Monty went on to develop an eating disorder. In his late teens he had a nervous breakdown and spent several months in a mental health facility where he was given electric shock treatment.
Many years later, Monty saw the coach in a passing car, which left him shaken and traumatised. He still suffers with flashbacks.
Monty feels there is a need for clear education on sex and relationships in school. He says that when he was growing up ‘everything was swept under the carpet’.
He emphasises the importance of thorough vetting and continuing monitoring of adults working with children. He adds that anyone who has concerns about an adult's behaviour should put these in writing to the managers of organisations and ensure they are thoroughly investigated.
Monty has had counselling. He remains very wary of men; ‘I can’t cope with them at all’ he says. However, he receives a lot of support from his wife and some close female friends, and is able to manage his life. He loves playing music and finds comfort in his faith.