Olwyn wishes that professionals could have ‘seen beyond the behaviour to the abused child’
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Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Olwyn was neglected as a child and sexually abused at home by her stepfather.
Some years later she ran away to escape but endured more abuse in the care system.
The abuse in the family home began when Olwyn was very young. Her stepfather would get into the bath with her and push his body forward to make Olwyn aware of his genitals. He would soap between her legs and put his tongue into her mouth.
The abuser would also go into her bedroom and would draw attention to his erection by rubbing between his legs. He would get into bed with Olwyn and rub against her. She says there are gaps in her memory and she does not remember everything that happened but she found out later that he had also abused her brother.
When she was a pre-teenager Olwyn ran away to her nan’s to escape the escalating abuse. She loved her nan but says she didn’t feel that she could live with her and she went into foster care.
While in foster care she was abused by her foster father, who took an interest in her body and touched her breast. However, she comments that she was glad to have escaped home. She later spent a year in a children’s home. She regularly ran away and for a time, she was prostituted.
Looking back, Olwyn feels that obvious signs and symptoms of her distress were missed or misinterpreted by those who should have protected her.
She told social services about the abuse by her stepfather, and has found clear evidence that she did in her records. She says she finds it empowering to see in her records that she did report the abuse and tried to change her situation.
She also found a note in her care file that her mum had described her as ‘disruptive, stealing and lying’. She was also labelled ‘sly’. She feels concerned that no one interpreted this behaviour as a cry for help.
Olwyn says the only person who believed her about the abuse was her foster mother who did report it, but nothing effective was done.
A few years ago, when she was talking to the police, they told Olwyn that she should ‘move on’ from what had happened and that it was her word against her abusers'.
She hopes they will take the situation more seriously now that a further report has been sent. She feels that there is a lot of documentation which supports what she is saying and does not understand why her stepfather was never interviewed.
Olwyn has experienced mental health issues and PTSD but has worked hard to overcome this and now feels stronger.
She is now in a happy relationship and has a daughter. However, she feels strongly that ‘you shouldn’t have to reach crisis point before support is offered’ and that there should be greater understanding of the long-term effects of abuse on victims and survivors.