Osian says the impact of child sexual abuse can reverberate for years
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Osian's experience of abuse involved the Catholic church.
From a young age, Osian felt he had a vocation to be a priest, and was encouraged in this by a relative. His family were all devout Catholics.
When he was 15, he went on a trip to Europe with a group of priests. He knew the priests from previous outings and events near to home, and he had always felt safe and happy with them.
While they were abroad, one of the priests, Father A, took Osian and another boy to a bar, where they drank beer. He then invited both boys back to his room. The three of them sat talking, then Osian’s companion left.
At this point, Father A suggested to Osian that they should take their clothes off, because it was so hot. Osian went along with this, but remembers that he felt very uncomfortable, so made an excuse to leave.
He knows he felt upset afterwards, and he can’t remember anything else about the rest of the trip.
Back at school he found he could no longer concentrate or retain any information. He had been a ‘straight A’ student and his school work suffered greatly. At the time, he says, he did not make any link between this change and the incident that had occurred with Father A.
A couple of years later, Osian was sent to a Catholic college to study for his A levels. Father A invited him to stay and, he says, ‘Stupidly I went’. One night the priest got into Osian’s bed and assaulted him and attempted to rape him.
Osian physically resisted and says he was able to prevent the rape. At this, Father A suggested that they should pray together. The abuse was not mentioned, and Osian remembers feeling frightened and disgusted.
He subsequently studied for the priesthood, but decided that he wanted to experience the world before committing himself to the church. He married, had a family and established a successful career.
But when he was in his 30s, he started to feel troubled and was having nightmares. He disclosed the abuse to his wife and parents. His father was very disconcerted by the revelation and it led to a falling-out between Osian and his parents.
After this, Osian says, he buried his feelings and carried on working. But some time later, he had a breakdown, was treated for depression and lost his business.
He had a conversation with two supportive friends who encouraged him to report the abuse by Father A to the police and the church.
Church child protection officers visited Osian and he made a police statement. He says he felt very relieved to have done this, but was disappointed to discover later that the church report of his disclosure was full of inaccuracies and also implied that Osian was not to be trusted.
The case went to trial a few years later. Father A denied the charges at first, so Osian was cross-examined in court. It emerged that the priest had abused other people. He was found guilty and given a prison sentence.
The church paid for Osian to have counselling for six weeks, then withdrew the funding, and he feels very let down by their overall response. He has tried to speak to senior clergy, but they refuse to meet with him without legal representatives being present.
Osian felt he was being discouraged from taking civil action against the church. He did consult lawyers but decided he was satisfied with the criminal court verdict, even though he could have gained compensation from a successful civil action.
By the time the case came to trial Osian’s marriage had broken down. He thinks this was caused by his mental health problems which led to his behaviour changing, loss of earnings and financial hardship.
After the trial, he says, he went into a decline for a few years, was unable to leave the house and his mental health deteriorated more seriously. His relationship with his parents has not recovered.
Osian believes that the church should carry out extensive official investigations into all abuse cases involving the church.
He says ‘I would like something good to come out of this’. He is doing voluntary work and plans to support victims and survivors.