After several foster placements, Reggie thought being in a children’s home would be fun
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Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
When Reggie was being sexually abused by an older boy in a care home, no one in authority seemed to care.
He says ‘What concerns me as an adult is how many loopholes there are and how easy it is for a predator to thrive in that situation’.
When Reggie was a child, his parents had what he describes as a ‘messy divorce’ and fought each other for custody of their children.
Reggie went to live with his mother and her new partner, but they both drank heavily and he was taken into care.
Over the following years, Reggie says ‘I was moved around [over 10] times’. As well as being sent to many different care placements, he attended several schools. He adds ‘I was passed from one social worker to another. Sometimes you’d be waiting all day for them to turn up and they didn’t’.
When he was 11, he was sent to a children’s home. He recalls ‘Before going into care, I imagined it would be fun, like Tracy Beaker on television, but it wasn’t at all like that’.
An older boy called Will befriended Reggie. Will was about 16 and he seemed to be a favourite of the staff.
He would take Reggie and some of the other children to a shop where he bought them alcohol and cigarettes. Will then took the boys to the woods where they would build dens, and drink and smoke.
Reggie says at first he thought Will was his friend, but the older boy began touching him sexually. ‘He seemed to hone in on me’ Reggie says.
Will continued sexually abusing Reggie outside, and in the children’s home, cornering him in rooms. Reggie complained to staff about Will, but he says ‘They never paid any attention because he was their favourite … they didn’t care’.
One day Will forced Reggie to perform oral sex on him. Reggie vividly remembers certain information about the experience.
During the time he was being abused, Reggie frequently ran away. He says ‘No one asked me why I ran away. I was constantly picked up by police and put in a cell. At least that got me away from it’.
Reggie says that because no one listened to him or believed him, he suppressed his feelings about the abuse.
As an adult he has seen Will on social media and finds it very difficult to decide whether he should try and report the abuse to the police.
Reggie has had mental health issues. He had a breakdown and has attempted suicide. He suffers night terrors and describes feeling insecure, damaged and worthless.
He finds relationships and intimacy difficult. He comments ‘The idea of being attractive or handsome makes me want to gain weight. I struggle with taking compliments’.
Reggie feels angry with social services for failing to protect him. He says that social workers need to spend time talking with and listening to children in residential homes, preferably away from the unit. If children persistently abscond, the police should ask them why.
He adds that all responsible adults should ensure they are approachable to children and young people, and pay attention to what they say.
Reggie has had therapy and takes medication for his mental health. He is training to work in a support role. He says ‘I’m not in prison, I don’t have an addiction, and I’m alive, and at times I didn’t know if I would be’.