Rosa says ‘I don’t think any child should be made to be the guilty one … that was my experience’
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Rosa was violently raped when she was 11 years old by a worker on the large country estate where she lived.
The landowner, medical professionals and her own family all colluded in covering up what had happened.
Rosa lived with her parents in one of the estate cottages, and her mother worked for the landowners in their house.
She says that the summer holiday in the 1960s, when the assault occurred, had begun as a happy time for her. She had won a place in a good school and was looking forward to starting there in September.
She wanted to be a vet; she particularly loved horses and she was happy to be allowed to help in the stables of the large country house. The owners paid her some pocket money for this, and let her go riding too.
Another of the estate workers, called Piers, began paying a lot of attention to Rosa. He and his wife also lived on the estate and his wife worked with Rosa’s mum.
Piers began to buy gifts for Rosa. He would tell her that he was going to teach her how to kiss and that he would be her boyfriend. He would tell Rosa that this was their ‘secret’ and warned her not to tell anyone.
Rosa describes how she started to feel afraid. She stopped wanting to go to see the horses, but it was difficult to avoid doing this. One day, Piers took Rosa into a room in the big house and sexually assaulted her. It was very painful for her, and he repeated his threat that she must not tell anyone.
The abuse continued throughout the summer and then happened again in the next school holiday. The next occasion he abused her was in the stables; he locked her in and put a cloth smelling of ammonia over her face, saying it was ‘something to relax her’.
She tried to fight him off as he started raping her. She remembers how she could not breathe properly and how ill she felt. As she struggled, he suddenly stopped and she was able to get away.
She ran to find her mum, who was with Piers’ wife and the estate owner’s wife. She told them what Piers had done, and his wife began crying. They took Rosa to hospital and the estate owner’s wife told Rosa she must say it had been an accident.
Medical staff examined Rosa and checked the burns and the injuries she had sustained. She was admitted as an inpatient, but she was too scared to say what had happened. She told them she had been playing with a bottle of ammonia.
She remembers her face and eyes hurting a lot, and she was also suffering from internal pain caused by the rape. That night, Rosa’s father came to visit her and she told him what Piers had done, but her father did not take any action.
When she went home, Piers and his wife were still living next door. At school she was called ‘scarface’ and after she told a friend what had happened, she was taunted about the rape. She says school staff were aware of this but did nothing.
Rosa started running away from home, and the police became involved. She says Piers and her parents stayed friends and when she occasionally saw him, he looked at her with ‘pure hatred’ but never remorse.
Rosa wanted to report what had happened but says she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Her mother never fully acknowledged what had happened and when Rosa tried to talk to her about it some years later, her mother told her she did not want to be upset by it.
The impact of the abuse still has a significant effect on Rosa. She blames herself for what happened, and other things that are not her fault. She suffers with anxiety and depression and has flashbacks of the abuse. She feels she has been overprotective of her children.
Rosa thinks that there needs to be better pastoral care in schools and better education about child sexual abuse, particularly that it is not just about ‘stranger danger’.
She emphasises the importance of strong safeguarding measures in all institutions, such as A&E departments.
Rosa has accessed support and she says that this, along with her faith, her work and her friends, has given her strength.
The perpetrator and the people who hid the truth about what happened to Rosa are now dead. When she shared her experience with the Truth Project, it was the first time in 50 years that she had spoken about her ordeal in detail.