Savannah was scared of getting into trouble and this stopped her telling anyone she was being abused
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Savannah’s parents divorced when she was a young child and she spent time with both of them.
Her mother physically abused her, and she was sexually abused by a teenage babysitter at her father’s house.
Savannah says that living with her mother was very difficult. She was made to carry out lots of cleaning tasks around the house, and she felt worthless and unloved.
Her mother had a series of boyfriends who came to live in the family home. Some of these men were cruel to Savannah, including one who used to lock her outside the house when her mother was out.
She says she lived in fear of doing anything wrong; she feels she learned to placate adults from a young age and to ‘keep things to myself’.
Savannah would usually stay with her father two evenings a week. A teenage girl, who was a regular visitor to the house, was left to babysit Savannah when her dad went out. Savannah says the girl built a close relationship with her: ‘I looked up to her and trusted her’.
The teenager began to sexually abuse Savannah. She closed the curtains and told her she was ‘a bad girl’. Savannah says she did what she was told, but she remembers that the abuse made her feel ‘dirty’.
Because of the way she was treated by her mother, Savannah did not feel she could tell her about what was happening at her father’s house.
She did well in her education, but she says that in the same way that she was scared of doing anything wrong at home, she wanted to go ‘unnoticed and invisible’ at school. She remembers she would ask if she could stay in and tidy the classroom at playtime, but her teacher did not ask her if she was ok.
It wasn’t until she was in her late teens that she told a friend she had been sexually abused, and the friend told a senior teacher. The police became involved, but the abuser denied the allegations. Savannah’s father told the police that he had never left his daughter alone with the babysitter. No further action was taken and Savannah feels let down by the police, social services and her school.
Savannah does not have any contact with either of her parents. She says the abuse has had an extremely negative impact on her intimate relationships, and she still suffers from nightmares and flashbacks. It has also affected her physical health.
Although she went to university and now has a successful career, her confidence is low and she finds it difficult to celebrate her achievements.
Savannah feels it is important for teachers to build trust so that children feel safe to talk about anything that concerns them without fear of being in trouble. She also thinks professionals need to be more alert to the signs of child abuse.
She explains that she wanted to share her experience to raise awareness that females can also sexually abuse children.