The man who abused Siriol was convicted, but she wishes she had been better supported
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Siriol was sexually abused by her step grandfather.
He was convicted and sent to prison, but Siriol was badly affected by the court process because she was not given any support.
Siriol explains that her mother was quite ill when she was a child, and she and her sibling spent a lot of time being looked after by their grandmother and step grandfather. She remembers feeling safe with her grandmother but her step grandfather sexually abused her. She thinks it started when she was about three years old, and went on until she was eight.
Sometimes when Siriol’s step grandfather abused her, there were other people in the room but he hid what he was doing under a newspaper. He would always abuse her when she was left alone with him.
When she was about five, Siriol was admitted to hospital with a bowel complaint. She knows she spent several weeks in a specialist unit having treatment and counselling, and that during this time she drew a detailed picture of male genitals.
Her mother and her mother’s boyfriend were very surprised; he never walked around naked at home and as far as they were aware she had never seen a naked man. However, the hospital staff did not think the matter needed investigating.
The abuse stopped after Siriol’s sibling disclosed it to their mother. Siriol’s sibling was touching themselves one day and when her mother asked what they were doing, they said ‘it's what grandad did to me’.
Her mother then questioned Siriol. Shortly after, Siriol was collected from school in a marked police car, which she remembers was very embarrassing for her. The police interviewed her and her step grandfather appeared in court. He pleaded guilty and was sent to prison.
During the police interview and the preparation for the trial, Siriol and her sibling were not given any support or counselling, and were told not to talk to their mother and grandmother about the abuse.
She adds that at school none of her teachers, with one exception, had any idea how to support her. She says her behaviour deteriorated at this time, and she ‘acted out’.
As a young teenager, Siriol engaged in risky sexual activity. She feels she was ‘looking for love’ in these encounters. She carries feelings of guilt that she ‘let it happen’ to her sibling and that she couldn't protect them from the abuse.
Siriol feels that after the abuse and conclusion of the trial she really needed support from professionals that wasn’t given to her. She adds that her mother and grandmother also really needed more support and information about how to look after her and her sibling, and deal with their own feelings.
She thinks there needs to be more awareness of child sexual abuse in schools and families. She adds that she thinks the NSPCC PANTS campaign, to keep children safe from abuse, is very good and should be used as widely as possible.
Siriol says that when the police car turned up at her school it was very embarrassing for her and she wishes this had been handled more sensitively.
Now she is an adult, Siriol feels stronger and is able to be very open with others about the abuse that happened to her.