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IICSA published its final Report in October 2022. This website was last updated in January 2023.

Experiences shared

Experiences shared

These are some of the experiences of child sexual abuse shared with the Truth Project by victims and survivors. All names and identifying details have been changed.

Download a PDF sample of accounts

Mari is not sure how she found the courage to help others, but she thought ‘Why not me?’

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Mari had an extremely difficult childhood. Her parents were sent to prison for neglecting their children. 

She was taken into care, where she was sexually abused.

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If she hadn’t told her mum she was sexually abused Tayla ‘ wouldn’t have known how little she cared about me’

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Tayla’s overwhelming childhood memory is of not being loved or cared for by her parents or brothers.

Her violent mother made it clear she did not want to hear about any of Tayla’s problems. This was confirmed by her response when Tayla tried to tell her she had been sexually abused.

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Benny says ‘We are who we are because of what we have been through’

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Benny spent nearly all his childhood and adolescence in a foster home, where he was humiliated and sexually abused.

He has taken steps to help him cope with his early experiences, but knows he is still affected by them.

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Fenella describes how bad she felt when her mother and the police did not believe she had been abused

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When Fenella was sexually abused and raped by her stepfather, her mother did not support her.

The police did not return her calls when she tried to find out whether they were acting on her report.

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Disclosing his abuse, Louis was told ‘Christian men don’t do that’

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Louis’ account of his abuse begins with what he now knows was grooming. When he was seven years old, he was allowed to join the Cub Scouts. He remembers being excited about this, especially as the scoutmaster was a trusted and upstanding member of the church.

The scoutmaster seemed approachable and friendly. He would ruffle Louis’ hair when he saw him or put an arm around him. Louis says ‘He was seen as helpful, someone to trust.’

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Arabella thought ‘I’ve carried this round for all these years; I want to deal with it’

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Decades after Arabella was abused, a seemingly trivial argument triggered significant upset for her.

She went for counselling which has helped explain some past events in her life and the way she responds to certain things.

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When Phil attended the Truth Project, it was the first time in six months that he had left his house

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As children, Phil and his siblings endured a violent and chaotic home life, the loss of a loving grandmother, and a catalogue of physical and sexual abuse by staff in the care system.

The toll this has taken on his physical and emotional health cannot be overstated.

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Tessa feels she lost her adolescence and has been permanently damaged by her experiences

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Tessa was brought up in the 1960s and 70s in a middle-class family and she was sent to boarding school, where she was manipulated and sexually abused by a female teacher with a powerful and unstable personality. 

At primary school, Tessa and other children were subjected to inappropriate physical contact by a male teacher. She remembers the shame and humiliation she felt at the things he did, and says she often came out of school in tears. Her mother did not ask what was wrong. 

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For his whole life Adrian says he has felt like a ‘bad person’

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Adrian describes how he has lived for more than 40 years with the effects of sexual abuse perpetrated by a teacher.

He remarks that his parents were ‘private individuals’ who believed ‘teachers should always be respected’, and he felt that he could not say anything about what was happening to him.

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When Nadiya’s mother realised her husband was sexually abusing Nadiya, she hit her

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Nadiya’s father sexually abused and raped her over a period of 13 years.

She wanted to report him when she got older, but her family pressured her not to.

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Royston says everyone thought he was ‘naughty and dysfunctional’, when in fact he was scared

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Royston explains that he is dyslexic, but at school he was often called ‘stupid and thick’, and this affected his attendance and his behaviour.

He was put into the care system, and sexually abused by his social worker, as well as staff and peers in children’s homes. 

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Daran says ‘I didn’t have a childhood, I just existed’

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Daran was subjected to sadistic sexual abuse over a 10 year period by his mother and a man she was having an extra-marital affair with.

He told three people in authority, but none of them took any action to protect him.

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