54. It was very common for victims and survivors to reflect on the impact of child sexual abuse on their experiences of parenting or their adult relationships with children. Ten percent of Truth Project participants reported a discomfort or lack of confidence in parenting as a result of being sexually abused.
55. Many victims and survivors said that they were hypervigilant about their children’s safety. Esme shared that she did not allow anyone into her home or to be alone with her children.[1] Marc said that he knows he needs to “balance … paranoia and overprotection”.[2] Other victims and survivors chose not to have children as a result of being sexually abused as a child. Patrick said he did not have children for fear that they might experience similar abuse.[3]
56. Some victims and survivors felt that they struggled to parent well. Some described how they struggled to connect with their children. Jimi said he had difficulties bonding with his children,[4] while Dean said that hugging his children was difficult as it would trigger memories of his having been sexually abused.[5]
57. Other victims and survivors felt that their experiences of child sexual abuse meant that they were a better parent. Lilly is proud of herself for “breaking the chain” by giving her children consistent and loving parenting.[6] Gloria said that she is loving and compassionate, and when she had children vowed she would always protect them and never leave them.[7]